- Cute boy in class: can I have a piece of paper?
- Me: sure *hands him a marriage certificate*
jack off? wow why not jill off this is why we need feminism
i hate it when you accidentally pick off a bit of dead skin on your lip and you can’t stop until you’ve peeled your entire face off
i feel so weird saying my own name
do you just ever get so mad that you mentally insult every single thing that people do around you
"hey i finished this question" good for you little fucking brat like wow didnt anyone teach you not to boast